I haven't written in a while, I guess. I'm not really certain what to say about this year as another birthday rolls close. There are certainly things that I am thankful for; getting out of my house to start a life of my own, my lover, starting school.

Of course, there are things that I can't really say I expected or that I am thankful for. Perhaps these things happened for a reason, but I am uncertain of that very reason. I should grow to accept them, but it is extremely difficult. I wish I could say where to go from here, but I haven't the slightest idea of what path to take and what path not to take. I suppose this is the game that life plays with us. Things happen for a reason, and while we aren't entirely sure of what it plans, we have to have the strength to pull through.

I was taken out of my comfort bubble into a world where I've found disappointment and sadness, but at the same time, I've found happiness and love. A part of me wants to return to the bubble because of how much pain I've felt during this past year and years before. I betrayed what I believed and found out that I was right; certain things aren't worth holding onto, but others you should never let go. I have something that I never want to let go, and there are things that I've been forced to. I guess it was a lesson I had to learn, and I think I've learned well. I'm fighting against myself not to be bitter and hurt, but it's difficult. I've been let down. People who I called friend and cared about with all my heart have shown that... well, maybe it's too soon for them to have the title of 'friend' or maybe they shouldn't have that title at all. I don't know. It hurts me, but there isn't anything I can do. I've tried, despite awkwardness. So, I guess it's time to just let go.

After all, I have my lover who cares for me and loves me above all. That's definitely something to be thankful for.

So, here's to turning 21. Another year. I guess it's sad that I'm looking forward to my one year anniversary more so than my actual birthday.